Breastfeeding beyond infancy

So many people have seen the photos that time magazine have published.
"are you mom enough"

The front cover shows a beautiful slim mum breastfeeding her 3 year old son. Who I must add looks a lot older and bigger then the average 3 year old. Having a 3 year old myself he is a lot bigger then my sonny who is actually 4 next month.

I have seen some amazing comments and some very disturbing ones too.

Some negatives I've seen include the words. Porn. Incest. Child abuse. Disgusting. Plus many more.

My personal opinion is this and this is coming from someone who breastfed all three of there children. The longest being 1 year and 2 weeks.

Let's start with the boys age he is 3 not 15. In my eyes a 3 year old is a toddler not a grown boy. Clearly looking at him the breast milk has made him in to a very strong healthy boy. What is so wrong with doing what nature intends your breast to do. It's only society and media that's made breast more of a sexual thing.
Yes breasts are beautiful and very attractive they are part of what makes a woman beautiful. But why do men find them so attractive ? What is it that makes breasts so sexy ? only a man could answer that one ha ha.

My mum couldn't breast feed me or my sister due to medication she had to take. She would have loved to and I feel very grateful that I could.
I remember as a child cuddling my mum and always putting my head on her boobs they were squishy and comfy. But there's a truly comforting about a mothers boobs isn't there ?
Something nurturing and calming I would say.
This I think has a big part in the male fascination with them its something that nature intended them to love. I'm a female but I love boobs who wouldn't. I love mine for many reasons including that they fed my children.

So back to the issue.
What makes people think these images are disgusting . Pornographic ?
Is it because people just think that breast feeding is for little babies?
Or that people have there own issues ?

If rosa had decided to breast feed longer I would have carried on she weened herself of the breast at 1. I don't know how long I would have fed her for but even at two she is still little in my eyes.

Now for the facts.

Breast milk changes with the needs of a child. Breast milk for a newborn is totally different to that of a one year old and so on. This is because many many years ago this was the only way you fed your child feed your child by breast other wise it would die let's not forget that's what breast are for ain't they.
In other countries breast feeding your child well in to infancy is the only way they can keep there child alive.

I don't like the title of the front cover
"are you mom enough"
Some mums can't breast feed and this does NOT make them a weaker mum or less of a mum. You do what's best for your child don't you?

Everyone has there own choices I believe and don't let anyone pressure you or tell you other wise.
If you want to bottle feed your baby then go ahead or breast feed until the child is 10 then go ahead. Just don't judge people by there choices this is what makes us human and independent let's keep it this way.

The magazine did what it was intended to do get people talking. Get people to buy the mag.
As a photographer i have a shoot in a few weeks with two beautiful ladies who are breastfeeding there babies one who is still small around 16 weeks old and the other who is coming up to two. The reason for this is to highlight how beautiful breastfeeding is. I can't wait for this shoot and can't wait for everyone to see the photos so watch this space :)

My sonny and how people see him

So let's talk about sonny!

Sonny Blake Clowser what can I say he is a lively one. He is a naughty one. He climbs. He shouts. He smacks. He pinches. His bitten. Pushed. Pulled. He doesn't listen. He can be embarrassing. Hard work. Tiring. Annoying. Plus much more.

I just want to clear things up to the people who think I have a out of control kid and for all those people that have given him that look.
You will only understand that look if you go Through what I do with sonny and have a child like him.

Sonny is 3 he will be 4 on the June the 23rd.
People have been telling me for years.
" his such a lively one"
"his such a character " ( wish some times I think it's a way of people saying his naughty)
"he must be hard work "

All of the above is true he is.
Each day is a struggle with sonny when he has a good day this is amazing when he has a bad day everyone is in trouble.

I have been in a bit of my own world when it comes to him. Just thinking he is just a second child. A middle child he will calm down. But the reality is I don't think he is ok and the penny has started to drop. I'm not a doctor or an expert in child psychology but I am an expert when it comes to my child and I know him better then anyone else is this whole world.
I think my son has ADHD and I have tears in my eyes writing that.
You only want your child to be perfect don't you?
I don't want him to struggle,I don't want him to be a outcast.

My son doesn't behave the way he does because I'm a bad parent and I don't punish him.
Or pay him attention. He doesn't know how to control his emotions.

Here's an example.

He has a older brother who's 10 who despite being an angel ( and yes he is Blake is one of the most well behaved balanced 10 year olds I know) he still likes to wined up his brother because well thats what older brothers do.
Then he has a younger sister who is 2 who copies everything he does and takes his stuff. And will also hit him and pull his hair Ect as she has to fight her place like sonny does with Blake. It's a normal sibling thing. You won't understand this unless you have 2+ children. One child only has themselves they don't need to prove the pecking order.
Something happened at a recent gathering where sonny was playing with another child he was pulling the other child hard by the back of there clothes. Only playing sonny never hurts someone on purpose that's not his nature. Floyd told him no and so did the childs dad to his reaction he blew a big raspberry in the other child's dads face.
This is sonny Dealing the situation he gets embarrist and it's the only way he knows how to react. He shouldn't off been pulling no but if taken aside and told the reason he wouldn't of reacted in this way. Nobody likes there child getting hurt and this I totally understand.
This happens alot with sonny his way of reacting to a situation he fully doesn't understand is by being more naughty or saying something silly or blowing a raspberry.
As adults we know how to channel our emotions but a child with possible adha doesn't.

Here's another example

At play school sonny was playing with a child who wouldn't leave him alone getting in his face annoying him ect after telling them to go away and they didn't his reaction was to scratch there face.

Another example

Same situation but this time he bit the child.

Sonny only reacts to things never starts them. He will get Overwhelmed by what's happening and react.

You might all be think no his just naughty. I want you all to understand why I think he has ADHD

1. He can't control his actions
2. He can't stay still
3. He doesn't know when to stop
4. He is very loud
5. He interrupts
6. He can't wait his turn
7. He will climb and jump even when told not too.
8. He has to have the cup he has chosen or he will completely loose it.
9. He has to have the routine he chooses or he just can't cope.
10. He gets in people's faces.
11. He will say silly word ect when spoken to instead of talking to you normally.
12. If he has the hump it takes a whole lot of effort to get him out of the mood.
13. Telling him off doesn't work it just makes him more angry.
14. He will make a mess without thinking of the consequences.

There are any more things.

This is sonny everyday I have to deal with this. So the next time you pass my son off as being naughty. Horrible. Spiteful. Ect think maybe he has something wrong with him. Maybe he doesn't understand why you are so angry with him.

But let me clear something else up.
Everybody who had taken the time to get to know my son also know this.

He is one of the cleverest kids I know and the play school have told me he is best in class for speaking and use of words. He also has the best attention span when doing an activity.
He always helps tidy up and will always look after the little ones when they are upset. If a child falls over he is the first to go over and make sure there ok.

He is one of the most loving children I have know. When the time is right for him he will give you the best kiss and cuddle in the world and hold you so tightly you can fill the love he has go right through your body.

He is the funniest little boy I know too his quick wit will get him far.
He has an amazing sense of humour.
He has an amazing imagination and this is where his different he see's the world as a muse and he is going to use it in his own way and I'm sure this way is going to make people. Smile laugh. Cry. Listen and learn.

My son sonny might not be your cup of tea but I tell you one thing. My boy is going to change the world. It's people like him that change the way we think and see things.

I've been wanting to write about him for a while but feel like today is the right day.

I love him to the moon and back and for everyone who opens there eyes. Heart and ignorance will see what an amazing boy he is and not just him so many other children that are like him.
My son is not perfect in the eyes of society but he is in mine.

Take time to get to know him and many others like him and you will see the world in a different way.


I'm not making excuses for naughtiness he can be really bad. But I just want everyone to understand him more and give him a chance.

I'm in the process of writing everything down to take to the doctors. And the play school are also making notes and setting targets for him.

Is he has ADHD which I'm 90% sure he has this will change his and our family but we will do what's best for him and us. And I'm hoping the people that love us will be there to understand and help us along the way.

Thank you for reading this extremely long blog it means a lot.
My spelling and grammar is awful but hey ho that's life.

Ruth x